September 2010 Inspire-letter

It is tempting to sleepwalk thru life. To tell half truths, listen half-way, be half-asleep, WAKE UP!
- SARK

Precious Souls!

So, how much time would you say you spend in the present? Not obsessing about the past or planning and worrying about what's next, but being right here, right now? Let's do a little test… Are you experiencing anxiety in your life? Depression, guilt, or emptiness? Do you always feel like time is flying by too fast? Are you are constantly catching yourself mentally "checking out" in the middle of conversations? Well, I hate to break it to you, but these are some serious symptoms of NOT being present, my friend.

Of course, you're certainly not alone… We have a society full of people who aren't actually here, and that certainly hasn't been working out so well lately…just ask our planet. The weird thing is that as children we start out so completely and delightfully present, so how in the world do we end up turning into multi-tasking zombies? Well, kids...let me tell you the story of a gal named Kimberly's descent into the "un-present" and back.

I remember that intense "presence" as a child so well — everything was so tangible. The joyful moments so joyful, the scary moments so scary, the boring moments…so endlessly boring. Somewhere along the way though I clued into the fact that if I could retreat from my body and the present into my mind and its past and future, the scary stuff didn't seem so real and it was also a nifty way to escape boredom! Then growing up, I took further steps out of the present in my efforts to fit into this fast-paced, results-oriented society (sidebar: in some Eastern societies, they actually encourage and cultivate one's present nature from an early age…we missed out big-time!) I learned now to "multi-task" (AKA not being present to any of the things I was doing at once) and how to go on auto-pilot in order to meet that deadline or "get through" sorrowful times or terrifying thoughts that I didn't actually have the time or courage to deal with (is any of this starting to sound familiar? ; ) I ended up spending almost my entire 20s ambitious, constantly on the go, driven by adrenaline, and always 10 steps ahead of my life. From the outside, my life looked glamorous and successful, but I was too busy looking at my next goal to actually enjoy any of my victories. Joy, love, and relaxation were things to be postponed until I had "made it".

Well, I remember vividly the day when I realized this approach was clearly not working out so well for me. It was a beautiful sunny Sunday in the autumn and I was meeting with a friend I adored in our favorite café for an afternoon of great conversation and relaxing company. But as I sat watching my lovely friend chatting animatedly, this creepy sensation started sinking in that I wasn't actually here. Sure, my body was on that chair drinking my frothy mocha latte, going through the motions of talking, but the whole time I felt like I was floating above everything -- just watching detached from above. All I could feel was anxiety as I tried to will myself into the moment and into enjoying what should have been a lovely afternoon. I suddenly realized with alarm...I'd hit the auto-pilot switch once too often. I'd practiced so hard at living in the future that I'd completely lost my ability to live in the moment, even in the good times. The capper that day was the horrifying thought: ‘What if I get to the end of my life and realize I hadn't been THERE for any of it?!'

Well, my presence trajectory took a real u-turn that day. I made a commitment to re-learn how to be in my life and it's a commitment I return to over and over again even as I reach the end of my thirties. The road to presence was and continues to be a long and challenging one, but so worth it. Yes, I often have to wade into the discomfort of confronting my sorrow, fear, or emptiness head-on (although shoving down present pain just to have it pop up again as free-floating anxiety isn't exactly a party either) However, in exchange I've also regained access to the joy, love, connection, delight and juiciness of living that one can only find in the moment. And really the moment is all any of us truly have…so don't you think it's time for us to stop living anywhere but?

This month's Inspire-letter is full of ways to start practicing mindfulness (the Buddhist word for "being present") in bite-sized, manageable ways. I'm not going to lie…this can all be bloody hard work. If you've spent years of training to not be present, you're going to have to be vigilant in continually returning to the present.

But remember, my lovelies…there truly IS no time like the present...

xo, Kimberly

Certified Soul Coach
www.SoulCoaching.org

The living moment is everything.
-- D.H. Lawrence

NEWS-BITS:

*I've recently revamped my website and added a video where I talk about the life-changing effects of the 6-Week Soul Coaching Program. Click below to check it out!!

* If you don't catch me live doing my Soul Coaching thing on Newstalk1010's radio show "The Buddha Lounge", you can now listen to some recent past shows CLICK HERE.